Nursing Moms: A Greatest Hits List

Today marked the last day of World Breastfeeding Week 2011. There have been events all week long- some of which you might have heard about through a local media outlet or social networking sites. What an great way to share and celebrate the awesomeness that nursing a baby is! Yesterday La Leche League USA sponsored "The Big Latch On" event where Moms and nurslings came together in public places to promote breastfeeding and aid in public awareness of breastfeeding. Over 4000 mamas and babies participated in this event at over 294 locations world-wide! Some La Leche League chapters sponsored picnics and moms around the world promoted nursing through Facebook and Twitter by announcing their participation in status updates or by posting pictures of themselves nursing their babies.

In recognition of World Breastfeeding Week and of the unbelievable joy I have found in nursing my own baby, following are a few lists of "Bests" of breastfeeding, according to me, at least.

Best Nursing Products: You don't need a million products to breastfeed your baby. In fact, you really only need your boobs, and, well, your BABY! But some products are fun and can make life easier!

1. Undercover Mama: No one wants to show off their post-baby belly to the world while nursing and shirts designed for breastfeeding with special openings or panels can be very costly - and not too cute! These tops turn any shirt into a nursing top and cost much less!




2. Fenugreek and Blessed Thistle: These supplements (herbs) have been used throughout history to help nursing mama's increase their milk supply. This is especially helpful for moms who want to increase their stockpile of milk or moms returning to work who plan to pump frequently.

3. Loved Baby Nursing Shawl: Breastfeeding is very special between mothers and their little ones. But sometimes we want to keep it that way--between us and our little one and not share everything we've got with the world. This shawl is very versatile and has many other uses; I've used it as a blanket, burp cloth, a playmat on the floor, and in a pinch, in a public diaper changing area where I didn't want to lay my baby down. The shawl comes in several colors and is a casual cover for nursing in public - unlike some covers that more closely resemble the shower curtain Halloween costume from The Karate Kid movie. In addition to being very useful the shawl is beautiful, washes very nicely and doesn't wrinkle!

4. Lansinoh Lanolin Cream: This is really a miracle cream for sore or cracked nipples. It's great for dry skin and chapped lips too! Available at most major retailers.

5. Washable Nursing Pads: Even though disposable nursing pads are available- washable ones are more comfortable and absorb better. And they come in awesome prints like these!

6. Electric Breastpump. There are several brands available and they vary in price. Medela pumps are housed in discreet black bags and are often preferred by moms who will need to take their pump to work. If they seem too expensive for you look for a good used pump and purchase new tubing, valves, and membranes through a retailer like Amazon. Sometimes hospitals and birthing centers rent breastpumps to moms who don't have funds to purchase their own.

7. Boppy Pillow: Some moms prefer the "My Brest Friend" pillow but the Boppy seems to have more long term use - like propping baby up and aiding in sitting up on the floor when baby gets bigger.

8. Nursing Tank Tops: These are great for sleeping and wearing around the house. The clasps allow for good coverage but quick and easy access for nursing your little one. (Much better than hiking up your sleep shirt or nightgown!) Check out this brand for pretty tops around $15 each.




Best Advice from Other Moms: When it comes to having a baby, everyone (EVERYONE!) has advice for the new mom. In my experience, successful breastfeeding moms have some of the very best advice though. This is what I learned:

1. Attend a La Leche League meeting BEFORE your baby is born.

2. KEEP GOING to La Leche League meetings AFTER your baby arrives! Moms in these groups can help new moms be successful and overcome problems or discomforts with nursing.

3. Smile and nod! Others are bound to make insensitive or irritating comments about your choice to breastfeed. Sometimes its best to just smile and nod and let the comment pass. (Disclaimer: This is much easier said than done!)

4. Don't buy a stockpile of nursing bras before your baby is born. Purchase one or two comfortable bras ahead of time and the rest after baby arrives. It's hard to know when you're pregnant exactly what will fit you once your milk comes in. You can save a lot of hassle by waiting until a few weeks after baby is born to purchase as many bras as you think you will need. The best kind to start off with are soft sleeping bras or sport-style nursing bras.

5. You don't necessarily have to spend a lot of money to get a good nursing bra. Check out stores like Target and Motherhood Maternity for a good selection of low-cost nursing bras.

6. Drink plenty of water! Keep a large cup or water bottle with you all of the time and refill it often! Staying hydrated is key to breastfeeding success.

7. Don't worry about losing the baby weight right away. Nursing your baby and drinking plenty of water will help you lose the weight safely over time and not at the expense of your health or milk supply.

8. Make friends with other nursing moms! Their support and friendship will be invaluable. If you can't find someone in your local area, join an online forum through a site like Mothering.

9. Change nursing holds frequently. This can help ease engorgement and maintain milk supply. It can also help relieve the symptoms of mastitis.

10. Learn the side-lying nursing hold. This position allows you and your baby to relax together.

11. Find and utilize a lactation consultant. Try to find a consultant who can come to your home and help you learn proper latch and nursing positions in your own environment. We spent about $120 for this service when our baby was born but my husband declared it to be the best $120 we ever spent! If you have your baby in a hospital there is sometimes a consultant on staff. (Be sure to ask if she is IBLCE certified though as more moms are reporting nurses with only workshop hours in lactation posing as consultants!)

12. Consider co sleeping with your baby. This can help maintain adequate supply and help mom and baby BOTH get more rest than getting up and going to the baby's room several time each night to nurse.

12. Read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding.

13. Wear your baby. Babywearing has many of advantages including bonding, some hands-free time for mom, and babywearing can help soothe a fussy baby. Some research also indicates that babywearing can help mothers produce and adequate milk supply.




Best Breastfeeding Websites: Sometimes a Google search can render more results than anyone can begin to search through or decode. These websites offer great advice for getting started with breastfeeding, finding solutions for issues, and getting the support moms need.

1. La Leche League International: Established by seven women in 1956 (after breastfeeding rates in the United States dropped to nearly 20%) to help, support, and educate mothers who wish to breastfeed.

2. La Leche League in the USA: the U.S. branch of LLLI. Offers links to local chapters and a Breastfeeding Helpline.

3. Mothering: Mothering Magazine was created in 1976 and continues today as a web company. Moms can find information on many natural parenting related topics, including breastfeeding.

4. Peaceful Parenting: A blog devoted to kind parenting offers many breastfeeding related articles.

5. Ask Dr. Sears: William Sears, MD and Martha Sears, RN. Pediatrician and parents of eight children, Dr. Bill and Martha offer advice on many parenting related issues they've encountered in their own family and through 40 years in pediatrics.

Babies and Stuffitis: The Marketing Campaign to Empty Your Wallet. Part 2 - Ignoring the Force-Fed Guilt to Determine What You Need!

Read Part 1 of this article here. A Google search for "list of necessary baby items" resulted in more than 52 million hits. This is not terribly surprising, considering the target audience of baby items, the monstrous marketing campaign for all things baby as well as the ability of Google to find anything and everything on the web. Conservatively we can say that maybe one quarter of those hits are actually relevant to the search topic- this still leaves over 12 million results perhaps slightly related to the subject at hand: babies and stuffitis.

The most common items listed in the search were things like a crib, crib mattress, stroller, infant carseat, highchair, playpen (pack-n-play), changing table, rocker, diapers, formula, and the list goes on and on and on. It is incredible the amount of stuff that Google thinks babies need! Okay, so maybe not Google - but the fact is - babies really don't need all of the stuff that the world seems to think they do.

Babycenter.com offers a baby cost calculator that estimates the one-time costs that most parents will have in preparing for their baby. The average total amount of these items is $2058. By adding a few luxury items the one-time costs rise to a staggering $3031! Sadly, this amount does not include ALL of the items that are suggested (or needed) by first time parents- things like a convertible car seat (used after baby reaches the 25-30 pound weight limit of the infant carseat/carrier), or a breast-pump- required of breastfeeding moms who return to work!

How are parents supposed to navigate these giant lists of things, the advice of well-meaning friends and family, and end up with enough to adequately care for baby without breaking the bank? It's actually quite simple. IGNORE all of it. This doesn't mean that parents should not prepare for the arrival of their baby or that there is anything wrong with accumulating things that will be required. But the trick is to accumulate things that YOU will require. Not that others require or suggest, and certainly not what major merchandisers so kindly suggest that you will need.

The best way to prepare for YOUR baby is to talk about how you plan to raise your baby. What parenting style will you use? What do you wish to teach your child? What kind of lifestyle do you want your baby to have? What expectations about things do you want to foster in your child?

If you intend to follow the guidelines of attachment parenting, you may want to forgo a crib and purchase a co-sleeper for your baby instead. If you want to keep your baby close to you to help her adjust to the world then you might choose a baby-wearing device such as a sling, wrap, or soft-structure carrier instead of a stroller.

If your family is concerned with saving money and reducing waste, perhaps cloth diapering- at least part time- is an option for you. Likewise, if you are concerned with using only organic, chemical-free, and other natural products for your baby you may consider exclusively breastfeeding and using cloth diapers full-time.

If you are concerned about raising a child who is overly preoccupied with (and over-stimulated by!) things and wish to foster creativity within your child rather than entertaining them with battery-powered toys, look around your home for items that are safe and practical for your baby to play with as he/she grows. There are very few parents who don't recall wiht humor at least one instance of their child cleaning out a kitchen cabinet full of pots and pans or plastic ware!

Beware of the temptation to buy all new things for your baby. Having some new things is lovely, however, having ALL new things is absolutely not necessary and does not contribute to your baby's well-being as much as happily involved parents do! And it's difficult to be happily involved if you are worried about money. Consider purchasing items second-hand at baby-themed consignment sales or stores, online through sites like Ebay, or from other moms you know (Don't know any moms? Attend a La Leche League meeting!) Even if money is a non-issue for you, consider purchasing some things second hand anyway- finding a good deal gives a great sense of accomplishment AND you'll be truly surprised at the exceptionally short amount of time your baby uses (or is interested in) some "necessary" items.

Following are a few items that we have not found useful or necessary and some of the items that we use instead. Some things we found we simply not useful at all.

Crib: Our daughter has not slept in it. Not even once. We use an Arms Reach co sleeper instead.

Stroller: Carrying baby leads to better attachment and bonding. We like to use an ErgoBaby or a ring-sling carrier like a Maya Wrap.

Infant Carseat: We did not purchase an infant carseat because convertible carseats are designed for babies from 5 pounds to between 45 - 80 pounds (depending on the brand and style) so they are useful much longer than the infant seat which only holds baby up to 25-30 pounds. The convertible carseat does not double as a baby carrier as the infant seat does but we prefer to carry/wear our baby. Before you purchase an infant seat, consider that it is possible for your baby to spend many hours in the seat without touch from another human. The convenience of these seats (home to car, car to stroller, stroller to restaurant car seat sling etc) can lead to your baby receiving much less touch from you than you may prefer or realize.

Baby Bath Towels: Regular bath towels work just fine. But they aren't quite as cute. ;)

Baby Bath Robe: We've never used this....and can't figure out in what circumstance it could be easier than dressing the baby...or why we would want her to be without a diaper after a warm bath anyway!

Boppy Seed Lounger: Our baby fit in this for about 15 minutes. Not worth the $30 investment!






One of the easiest (and hardest!) ways to stay out of the baby-stuff-trap is to wait until baby arrives to purchase things that will not be used right away. It's very easy (and fun!) to get caught up in buying cute baby gear, but parents might find later on that the $150 pack-n-play or a $160 baby swing weren't really as necessary- or as convenient- as they had hoped. Waiting to purchase things are they become necessary can result in substantial cost savings and can keep the accumulation of expensive baby things to a minimum.

Don't miss out on the enjoyable parts of preparing for the arrival of your baby. But don't get caught up in what the world thinks you need either. The best way for new parents to prepare for baby is to talk about how they want to raise their baby and how that effects the things they will need to be prepared for his or her arrival. These conversations and preparation go much further than a crib set toward helping baby to succeed in life; parents who agree on a parenting style are much more prepared than those who only agree on a nursery theme.

Go ahead and enjoy getting ready for your little one, but think about all of the cash you can free up to dump into a college fund if you can avoid the baby-stuff trap!

Babies and Stuffitis: The Marketing Campaign to Empty Your Wallet. Part 1

In the duration of my pregnancy I had the good fortune to only enter a Babies R' Us store on two occasions. Both of them were in the same week and happened only because the furniture stores in our area did not have a very good selection of glider-rocking chairs. My parents had very generously offered to purchase one for us as it had become kind of a tradition in our family with each of my sisters receiving a glider from my parents before the birth of her first child. It was a lovely gift and one that we have been able to use more than we ever imagined! My mom and I had a good time choosing the glider- and even more fun getting the manager to give us a good deal on the last display model of a discontinued color. All of that said, however, I do not plan to set foot in one of those God-forsaken places again.

The ridiculousness that is Babies R' Us (or insert any big-box-baby-superstore here) can barely be described. Wall-to-wall shelves and aisles crammed full of the latest and greatest in baby gear, baby wear, baby feeding, baby travel, baby furniture and every thing else. You name it and they probably have at least 10 different options of essentially the same thing. A quick search for "travel system" indicated almost 20 different options available in-store and a separate search on the mega-store's website returned over 70 options for "convertible carseats"! Incredible! The choices seem almost infinite and are utterly staggering.

And that is the problem with entering the baby years. It's mind boggling, completely overwhelming and can easily get out-of-control-expensive. Marketing techniques convince new parents that they "need" the latest technology and would be irresponsible to attempt parenthood without it. (Watch a commercial for just about any baby product and this subtext will probably jump out at you now if it didn't before.) Even Amazon is on board with the "needs" of babyhood. They recently posted their editors picks for "Newborn Essentials: 10 Products You Probably Didn't Know You Needed" which lists items like a "White Noise Machine", a "Moses Basket", and swaddle blankets along with a convincing blurb describing why new parents will absolutely require the item.

Many soon-to-be and new parents look to seasoned parents for advice on which items to register for and purchase, but most of us also observe and respond to social norms and trends regarding raising baby. That is how we ended up with a crib, crib bedding set, crib mattress, and TWO of those waterproof crib mattress pads that the Amazon editors indicate as positively necessary, and that we have NEVER used. And probably never will.

As we prepared for the arrival of our daughter we began to collect the things we thought would be necessary and to prepare a room for her. Compared to some we didn't really buy too much stuff. We were much less convinced than most that we would need every available baby item in order to be adequately prepared. We also opted not to learn our baby's sex ahead of time and to wait to make certain purchases until after the baby arrived.

Well, it turns out that most of the items we did buy were really NOT necessary. Even the crib. Especially the crib, in our case, actually. It's too bad that we spent so much money on it too, since when I eventually Craigslist it we probably won't get much of it back!

The guilt-ridden marketing toward soon-to-be parents is deceptive and dishonest, at best. While there are SOME things that are certainly necessary, they don't even begin to add up to the thousands of dollars in baby merchandise that marketers try to convince parents they will need to succeed in bringing-up baby. Parents would be better off to purchase a few small things to get started and determine what they really need as they raise their baby. That would definitely free up some cash to start a college fund for that same kiddo.

There are several short and long term complications caused by this very successful marketing scheme that go beyond the ridiculous surplus of stuff in American homes. The first and most obvious is a shortage of cash in the short term - cash that might otherwise be used to begin a college fund, or allow a parent (or both parents) to stay home with their baby for awhile longer before returning to work. This critical time with baby can especially effect breastfeeding success, parent-child bonding and attachment. Another issue may be a decrease in birthrates due to the perceived cost of raising infants. (Likewise, the cost may very well get out of hand because of the materialistic nature of our culture. But that is a topic for another time.) Requiring so much stuff for the arrival of and first year of baby's life is also setting a standard for the rest of the baby's childhood and maybe their entire lives. More and more stuff leads to "stuffitis" which can ultimately lead to poor priorities and poor checkbooks in adulthood. Maybe this seems like a stretch for some but take an honest look around and see if you still think it's untrue.

This doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with having some fun and frivolous things for your baby, or that there is anything wrong with being prepared with silly, pretty, or cool baby stuff. It just means that parents should consider the short and long term gains of the things they buy, if they can really afford them or if that money would be better spent on something else that is of more value to their baby (time, college tuition, etc). It means that parents should not buy into the commercials and advertisements laced with guilt directed at them for not having the newest and- almost always - outrageously expensive piece of baby equipment available.

It is important for parents to consider their parenting style and how they plan to raise their child as they prepare for baby's arrival. Conversations about these things are of much more value than stuff, and can lead to important, and possibly money saving revelations about which items are necessities and which items are more frivolous.

Next: Babies and Stuffitis: The Marketing Campaign to Empty Your Wallet. Part 2 - Ignoring the Force-Fed Guilt to Determine What You Need!

Banning the Babies: Are Kiddos Going Out of Fashion?

Almost three weeks ago Malaysia Airlines announced that they have banned infants in first class on all of their Boeing 747-400 jets and intends to do the same for other flights as well. People all over the world have voiced their opinions ranging from relief and elation to outrage and chagrin.

Two similar stories highlighting an attitude of inconvenience toward children have made their way into the news just this week. Near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania a restaurant has banned all children under six years old due to complaints from retirement-age patrons that children were causing a "ruckus". ABC News reported that the establishment's owner announced to patrons that his restaurant was "not a place for young children" and customers had been disturbed during their meals "many, many times" by these kiddos.

The second story involves one mother's office dilemma. New York Times contributing writer Lisa Belkin shared a letter in which a mother described conflict in her workplace due to her breast pump. (Yes, her breast pump!) This mom stores her breast pump in a discreet black bag under her desk when she is not using it in the space allotted for pumping by her company. Her office mate happened to see a few empty bottles in the partially open bag under the desk one day and immediately filed an HR complaint. (This mom also notes that complaints were made when she stored the bag in the designated nursing area.)

These stories are disconcerting because they represent an attitude of inconvenience and annoyance toward children. I will admit that I have often felt annoyed by a screaming child at dinner or during travel, but I have not wished them to be banned. And I don't think most people do. At least, I hope not. Most people who have children are empathic to parents attempting to comfort an upset child. In my pre-motherhood years I often wondered why those parents didn't take their child home and put them to bed. Now I know that sometimes parents want to get out of the house too! Additionally, allowing children to accompany their parents on outings and social occasions teaches them appropriate behavior and how to conduct themselves in particular social settings.

When people fail to recognize the value of children, which includes acknowledging and respecting their needs, they are doing themselves and the children who need their patience and understanding a terrible injustice. There is inarguable evidence that breast milk is THE best nutrition for babies. Breastfeeding is the best way to give children the best possible start in life. It is troubling to think that there are those who are more concerned with how breastfeeding (and pumping, by extension) makes them feel than the invaluable nutrition it provides to babies.

The banning incidents also indicate that there is likely a problem in our society in addition to a lacking sense of empathy. Although children have been unruly, loud, and inconsolable at enormously inopportune moments since the beginning of time, perhaps today's parents are too passive in their response to these behaviors. I've noticed parents ignoring their toddler's screams in a restaurant and carrying on conversation as usual more often than I'd like to think about. I wonder on how many of those occasions the kiddo could have been soothed with a little bit of attention from his or her parents rather than left to entertain themselves.

The real questions these incidents raise are probably more disheartening than the events themselves:
Are infants and small children going out of fashion? Would people prefer not to be bothered with seeing or hearing them?
Or is our society becoming less and less tolerant of kiddos and there sometimes (and sometimes often!) unruly behavior?
Are parents and lacking discipline to blame for the bans against babies and small tots?
Are there really people who are not concerned with the general health and well being of the next generation?

A change in attitude toward infants, small children, and their needs will require a great deal of patience and understanding. People would do well to heed the words of a very wise man:

"A person's a person, no matter how small."

— Dr. Seuss (Horton Hears a Who!)