Two similar stories highlighting an attitude of inconvenience toward children have made their way into the news just this week. Near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania a restaurant has banned all children under six years old due to complaints from retirement-age patrons that children were causing a "ruckus". ABC News reported that the establishment's owner announced to patrons that his restaurant was "not a place for young children" and customers had been disturbed during their meals "many, many times" by these kiddos.
The second story involves one mother's office dilemma. New York Times contributing writer Lisa Belkin shared a letter in which a mother described conflict in her workplace due to her breast pump. (Yes, her breast pump!) This mom stores her breast pump in a discreet black bag under her desk when she is not using it in the space allotted for pumping by her company. Her office mate happened to see a few empty bottles in the partially open bag under the desk one day and immediately filed an HR complaint. (This mom also notes that complaints were made when she stored the bag in the designated nursing area.)
These stories are disconcerting because they represent an attitude of inconvenience and annoyance toward children. I will admit that I have often felt annoyed by a screaming child at dinner or during travel, but I have not wished them to be banned. And I don't think most people do. At least, I hope not. Most people who have children are empathic to parents attempting to comfort an upset child. In my pre-motherhood years I often wondered why those parents didn't take their child home and put them to bed. Now I know that sometimes parents want to get out of the house too! Additionally, allowing children to accompany their parents on outings and social occasions teaches them appropriate behavior and how to conduct themselves in particular social settings.
When people fail to recognize the value of children, which includes acknowledging and respecting their needs, they are doing themselves and the children who need their patience and understanding a terrible injustice. There is inarguable evidence that breast milk is THE best nutrition for babies. Breastfeeding is the best way to give children the best possible start in life. It is troubling to think that there are those who are more concerned with how breastfeeding (and pumping, by extension) makes them feel than the invaluable nutrition it provides to babies.
The banning incidents also indicate that there is likely a problem in our society in addition to a lacking sense of empathy. Although children have been unruly, loud, and inconsolable at enormously inopportune moments since the beginning of time, perhaps today's parents are too passive in their response to these behaviors. I've noticed parents ignoring their toddler's screams in a restaurant and carrying on conversation as usual more often than I'd like to think about. I wonder on how many of those occasions the kiddo could have been soothed with a little bit of attention from his or her parents rather than left to entertain themselves.
The real questions these incidents raise are probably more disheartening than the events themselves:
Are infants and small children going out of fashion? Would people prefer not to be bothered with seeing or hearing them?
Or is our society becoming less and less tolerant of kiddos and there sometimes (and sometimes often!) unruly behavior?
Are parents and lacking discipline to blame for the bans against babies and small tots?
Are there really people who are not concerned with the general health and well being of the next generation?
A change in attitude toward infants, small children, and their needs will require a great deal of patience and understanding. People would do well to heed the words of a very wise man:
"A person's a person, no matter how small."
— Dr. Seuss (Horton Hears a Who!)
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