Babies and Stuffitis: The Marketing Campaign to Empty Your Wallet. Part 1

In the duration of my pregnancy I had the good fortune to only enter a Babies R' Us store on two occasions. Both of them were in the same week and happened only because the furniture stores in our area did not have a very good selection of glider-rocking chairs. My parents had very generously offered to purchase one for us as it had become kind of a tradition in our family with each of my sisters receiving a glider from my parents before the birth of her first child. It was a lovely gift and one that we have been able to use more than we ever imagined! My mom and I had a good time choosing the glider- and even more fun getting the manager to give us a good deal on the last display model of a discontinued color. All of that said, however, I do not plan to set foot in one of those God-forsaken places again.

The ridiculousness that is Babies R' Us (or insert any big-box-baby-superstore here) can barely be described. Wall-to-wall shelves and aisles crammed full of the latest and greatest in baby gear, baby wear, baby feeding, baby travel, baby furniture and every thing else. You name it and they probably have at least 10 different options of essentially the same thing. A quick search for "travel system" indicated almost 20 different options available in-store and a separate search on the mega-store's website returned over 70 options for "convertible carseats"! Incredible! The choices seem almost infinite and are utterly staggering.

And that is the problem with entering the baby years. It's mind boggling, completely overwhelming and can easily get out-of-control-expensive. Marketing techniques convince new parents that they "need" the latest technology and would be irresponsible to attempt parenthood without it. (Watch a commercial for just about any baby product and this subtext will probably jump out at you now if it didn't before.) Even Amazon is on board with the "needs" of babyhood. They recently posted their editors picks for "Newborn Essentials: 10 Products You Probably Didn't Know You Needed" which lists items like a "White Noise Machine", a "Moses Basket", and swaddle blankets along with a convincing blurb describing why new parents will absolutely require the item.

Many soon-to-be and new parents look to seasoned parents for advice on which items to register for and purchase, but most of us also observe and respond to social norms and trends regarding raising baby. That is how we ended up with a crib, crib bedding set, crib mattress, and TWO of those waterproof crib mattress pads that the Amazon editors indicate as positively necessary, and that we have NEVER used. And probably never will.

As we prepared for the arrival of our daughter we began to collect the things we thought would be necessary and to prepare a room for her. Compared to some we didn't really buy too much stuff. We were much less convinced than most that we would need every available baby item in order to be adequately prepared. We also opted not to learn our baby's sex ahead of time and to wait to make certain purchases until after the baby arrived.

Well, it turns out that most of the items we did buy were really NOT necessary. Even the crib. Especially the crib, in our case, actually. It's too bad that we spent so much money on it too, since when I eventually Craigslist it we probably won't get much of it back!

The guilt-ridden marketing toward soon-to-be parents is deceptive and dishonest, at best. While there are SOME things that are certainly necessary, they don't even begin to add up to the thousands of dollars in baby merchandise that marketers try to convince parents they will need to succeed in bringing-up baby. Parents would be better off to purchase a few small things to get started and determine what they really need as they raise their baby. That would definitely free up some cash to start a college fund for that same kiddo.

There are several short and long term complications caused by this very successful marketing scheme that go beyond the ridiculous surplus of stuff in American homes. The first and most obvious is a shortage of cash in the short term - cash that might otherwise be used to begin a college fund, or allow a parent (or both parents) to stay home with their baby for awhile longer before returning to work. This critical time with baby can especially effect breastfeeding success, parent-child bonding and attachment. Another issue may be a decrease in birthrates due to the perceived cost of raising infants. (Likewise, the cost may very well get out of hand because of the materialistic nature of our culture. But that is a topic for another time.) Requiring so much stuff for the arrival of and first year of baby's life is also setting a standard for the rest of the baby's childhood and maybe their entire lives. More and more stuff leads to "stuffitis" which can ultimately lead to poor priorities and poor checkbooks in adulthood. Maybe this seems like a stretch for some but take an honest look around and see if you still think it's untrue.

This doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with having some fun and frivolous things for your baby, or that there is anything wrong with being prepared with silly, pretty, or cool baby stuff. It just means that parents should consider the short and long term gains of the things they buy, if they can really afford them or if that money would be better spent on something else that is of more value to their baby (time, college tuition, etc). It means that parents should not buy into the commercials and advertisements laced with guilt directed at them for not having the newest and- almost always - outrageously expensive piece of baby equipment available.

It is important for parents to consider their parenting style and how they plan to raise their child as they prepare for baby's arrival. Conversations about these things are of much more value than stuff, and can lead to important, and possibly money saving revelations about which items are necessities and which items are more frivolous.

Next: Babies and Stuffitis: The Marketing Campaign to Empty Your Wallet. Part 2 - Ignoring the Force-Fed Guilt to Determine What You Need!

The Simple(r) Life: Not Just For Paris?

A few months ago I read a story in Mothering magazine about a woman who converted a 40 foot long Blue Bird bus into a home for herself, her husband, and three daughters, aged seven years and younger. Their desire to live simply and eliminate debt from their lives led her to the decision to park the bus on a piece of property owned by a relative, complete a moderate renovation and move her family in. Their family's lifestyle became one of simplicity, careful consideration of resources, and cooking entire meals in only one pot using as much whole food as possible. My reaction to the article was a strange combination of shock, horror, respect, curiosity, and realization that perhaps there are other ways to live outside of rampant consumerism and the proverbial rat race.

Although I have always considered myself to be frugal in many areas of life and I am certainly a self proclaimed disciple of Amy Dacyczyn, author of The Tightwad Gazette, I have not really been as frugal as I could be. This is at least partially due to spending the last several years enjoying two incomes- sometimes frugality is the result of necessity as much as anything else.

Last fall, anticipating a change in our living situation and a transition to a single-income household, my husband and I participated in Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University. Although we were familiar with many of Ramsey's concepts, the class gave us the opportunity to begin practicing the methods that will allow us to ultimately live debt-free. Ramsey's famous adage "Normal is broke be weird!" struck a proverbial chord with us and has allowed us to see how encumbered we had become by things and the stuff we were keeping around the house, and without realizing, had fallen into the habit of regularly accumulating more of.

We followed Ramsey's advice and began to sell off the "junk" we weren't using. Utilizing websites like Craigslist we listed (slowly at first) things that we had not used in the last 3 years...followed by things we hadn't used or looked at in 2 years....and as the stuff rolled out and the cash rolled in, our momentum increased and we accomplished an extensive liquidation of "stuff". In all fairness, I must admit my tendency to get carried away with projects like this and although my husband has had to reign me in a time or two (but the baby doesn't REALLY need her crib-she can sleep in the pack n play!) for the most part our purge has been pretty reasonable. We parted with old gaming systems, books, clothes, furniture we weren't using and were keeping "just in case" (in case of what, we have no idea, of course).

The benefits of this project have been pretty awesome and even a little bit surprising. We found space in our house that we didn't realize was there because it had been so crammed with stuff, accumulated a big chunk of cash, unloaded "things" that at some point we thought couldn't be lived without, and have gained an (odd) sense of fulfillment by dumping the "junk"!

Life and financial situations can be especially troubling when headlines abound with stories about the United States' consumer bust and what happens if the government can't agree on how to handle our tax dollars. In a world obsessed with owning things, in which the quality of one's life is judged by the ability to accumulate things and the way we are perceived by others is largely influenced by our possessions, it can be difficult to recognize how quickly objects and our pursuit of them, can encumber our happiness. Although I am not an advocate of a miserly existence or one that does not allow for some comforts and modern conveniences- I want new living room furniture as much as the next person!- I think that evaluating our want versus need scenario can do a great deal for our sense of satisfaction in life and help us feel at ease in a world of perpetual financial unrest.

Until rather recently, I have never really considered the uncluttered and simpler way of life that is part of modern-day minimalist living as something that was even remotely feasible for my family. And I'm not sure I can entirely embrace it now- but I know for certain that the Blue Bird bus family inspired me to re-evaluate what is really important for my family. With some help from Dave Ramsey, a sense of humor, and a huge amount of determination, our family is determined to live a less-cluttered and more fulfilling lifestyle.

“Our life is frittered away by detail ... simplify, simplify.”

Henry David Thoreau